Top Reasons Why Men are Afraid to Commit

images (18)We’ve heard it all before. We’ve seen it in the movies, think Vince Vaughn’s character in the Breakup. We’ve had our girlfriends deal with issues with men and commitment. Perhaps you’ve also experienced it. Your relationship was going great until he felt you wanted more. So why is it that men are afraid to commit?

Men are afraid to commit for a number of different reasons and ever since the early 40’s there’s been a steady decline in the number of men getting married and even more men who are in their 40’s and 50’s who are clinging onto their bachelor lives for dear life – George Clooney is a case in point.

It’s fair to say from all the evidence we have, men are afraid to commit and prefer living a life of freedom rather that committing to just one woman. There are a number of ways that we could help our men without pressurizing them too much, we can actually make it all appear less horrific.

It only takes a man to hear the words “commitment,” “future,” “marriage,” or “kids” and they go running for the hills. Here are the main reasons why men are afraid to commit and a few subtle suggestions to help reduce their fear.

Men are afraid to commit in fear of losing their freedom As soon as they commit men believe they have to forgo everything else. Football Sunday sessions are no longer, beer with the boys slowly disappears. Friday pizza night is transformed into double dating with a couple he doesn’t even like. Every man on this planet loves their time with the guys – they love the freedom and don’t like answering or explaining to anyone else.

A man wants a woman who will honor his need to go to get his buddy fix and freedom to follow his own interests as well as doing the things you want to do. It’s absolutely essential, if you’re dating one of these commitment-phobe men, you need to reiterate that just because you’re in a relationship and that you’re “committed” you don’t have to give up or lose the other important things in your life (within reason of course).

The idea of having one sex partner for live freaks men out! This is not just scary for men it also freaks women out too. However, we’re naturally magnetized to others based on the initial attraction and more so men whom are primal creatures. At first we all have wild and fun sex and one of the reasons why men are afraid to commit is that they’re afraid that this sex will eventually disappear and turn into standard sex with the boring old missionary position just a few times a week (if he’s lucky).

Easing this particular fear is simple! Keep it spicy! Try new things, have frequent sex and prove to him that you’re sex lives are not going to wane just because he commits to you.

Men are afraid of commitment because they lose their personal space. Men are creatures of habit and don’t cope well with change. They want everything in their life the same as it was before you came along. They like their things in their home and don’t like things moved about too much – this puts them into panic mode and it makes them feel as though they’re losing their independence.

The simple truth here is that it’s impossible to change a man. It’s not impossible for them to change, but the only way they’re going to do so is if they want to. If you want to keep him, but don’t like his habits such as staying up late at night watching NBA in his boxers, you’re going to have to quit with the nagging and let a few things slide. Of course, when you live together compromise is very important, however, there are surely more pressing issues. If you try to change him, he’ll feel like you’re taking away his individuality and that’s a definite no-no and you’ll surely push him away from the idea of marriage or long-term commitment.

Past experiences makes men afraid to commit Almost every person, you and I included have gone through some sort of awful dating experience before and he most probably has too, which is another number one reason why men are afraid to commit. Women have the tendency to be controlling and sometimes jealous, which can really destroy a dating experience and it’s also a huge turnoff for men.

Prove to him that you’re not that woman. Don’t nag him, don’t get excessively jealous and never try to control him and whatever you do, don’t remind him of that bitch of an ex or you’ll just risk getting him to commit to you.

Men don’t want to commit because we nag Have you taken out the trash? Have you filed the tax reports yet? Why haven’t you bought any milk? I hate it when you do that, it’s gross! Yes, we’re naggers by nature and if there’s one thing that pisses men off more than anything else is a woman who nags. Men want a woman who cares and loves him, not one who nags – they have their moms for that. Nagging will not get you anywhere and it will only push him to rebel more.

Instead try using positive reinforcement and praise with encouraging words such as:

You really brightened my day when you did… This will encourage him to do more positive things and it’s a great way of rubbing his ego, which he wants.

Men don’t like commitment because it means having no free-time We’re renowned for dragging our boyfriends all over the show. We make them attend boring family dinners, go on double dates with couples he dislikes, drag him shopping while we try on a gazillion different outfits…these things, while they may be important to us, hold no significance to him and quite frankly they eat into his time. It’s really essential that he feels like he still has a grip on his own life outside while dating you. You’re all aware of the old saying, absence makes the heart grow fonder – it’s true so let him do his own things and he’ll also learn at the same time that he misses you too.

There are very few girlfriends out there who’re chilled enough for their boyfriends to have free time with the boys; however, you need to get past your trust issues (it drives him crazy) and let him do what he wants to do (within good reason of course) and in this way, he’s going to have no reason or excuse not to commit to you.

All of his buddies are single This is a huge deal for guys and it works the opposite for women, who find it more difficult to cope with their female friends getting married. If all his buddies are single and free, he’s going to be more influenced and swayed by his friends’ opinions, ways and lifestyles. We’ve heard our own friends discourage our relationships before for different reasons and men are just as loyal to their buddies as women and hate seeing their fellow male comrades fall into a relationship rut and this continues to remain one of the top reasons why men are afraid to commit – these friends will do absolutely anything if it means keeping their friend single because after he gets into a serious relationship they know too well where it’s all going to lead.

We’re often viewed as the more complicated sex, but things have taken a different turn in today’s dating world and it seem that men too are also complicated when it comes to dating – men are afraid to commit and would much rather spend their days solo and having fun than thinking about their futures. But there are a few things that you can do to help these men embrace commitment – give them their own space and don’t try changing them and you’ll be up for the award of best girlfriend of the year and perhaps, you’ll even get him to commit more permanently.

Photo credit: connectwithhisheart.com

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