How To Help Your Son With His First Breakup


The first heartache is the most difficult for most young people because it is the first time they experience the intensity of feeling rejected, hurt, and even distressed.

When you see your teenage son heartbroken, it seems that as a parent, you are also in anguish. You would want to retaliate as much as your son does. But a good thinking before attacking is best for a mature person like you. And while you want to spare him the hurt, it is out of the question. Besides, a heartache, though it will take time to heal, can make a person more resilient. So, as a very affected parent, what is the best way to help your son with the aftermath of his first breakup?

  1. Acknowledge that his breakup is devastating for him and that the relationship may have been everything to him. Don’t say ‘You will find someone else’. Getting over the person whom he loves, or thinks he loves, will seem impossible for your teenager. Don’t worry if he consults his friends more than you because this is exactly what he will do. What’s important is that you let him know you are there for him and asking how he’s doing.
  2. Be there for him. Taking the time to be with him will remind him that he is a worthy person. Be patient even if he doesn’t want to talk about it. When he is ready to talk, make sure you are there to listen, and listen well. This will help lighten his burden to a certain degree and will make the healing faster. But keep in mind that some people will recover fast, others may not be as fast. Take it one step at a time.
  3. Recall the time when you went through the same experience. If you remember the best advice given to you, then give it to him, too. If not, put yourself in his shoes and see how you can support him in the point of view of a teenager. Never accuse or criticize the other party, instead, help your son realize the lesson from this experience.
  4. A child who feels the love and unconditional acceptance at home will continue with his life with an optimistic attitude and self-confidence. He will have no need to find it somewhere or with someone else. Engage your son in things such as family events, sports, school, and yes, other friends with good influence.

As a parent, it might be very hard to go through the breakup of your son and, perhaps, you may shed more tears than him. No matter how many breakups he has been through, there is no getting used to it – there will always be sadness. But, remember that going through every breakup will make your child stronger and will teach him valuable lessons he will need, to face the more important things in his future.

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