The times have changed – and love has had to change right along with them. People’s motivations and expectations have shifted over the past several decades. Quite possibly, no one understands this better than Daniel Jones. He has been the editor of the New York Times Modern Love column for almost a decade.
With correspondence flooding his computer on a daily basis, Jones has a view of modern love that few people ever get. But fortunately, he has shared his observations in a new book, Love Illuminated: Exploring Life’s Most Mystifying Subject (with the Help of 50,000 Strangers).
The New Norm of Modern Love
According to Jones, there are plenty of problems inherent in modern love. These days people do not want to get married young, they want to wait so they can get ahead in their careers, set aside a nest egg, or just to be certain they are ready. But, just because people want to wait, for whatever reason they have, it does not mean that they can pause their biological clocks while they get themselves settled. Modern love has created a bottleneck in the romantic process. Because people want to wait for marriage, but still hope to have kids, Jones has described a bottleneck of expectant lovers between the ages of 28 and 34; they want love, or rather they need it quickly if they plan to procreate.
Modern love has more than one pitfall. In the past people stayed together in their relationships because their skills complemented each other. But today, a man can be an island because of the way society has evolved; so the love that people expect from each other demands more passion, more everything because there is no other reason to remain committed to each other. Modern love is clearly a complicated conundrum, but if you want to understand it better, then it is time to get your hands on a copy of Daniel Jones’ Love Illuminated: Exploring Life’s Most Mystifying Subject (with the Help of 50,000 Strangers). Pick up a copy today to start demystifying modern romance.