Should We Share Marital Problems With Friends?


Photo credit: Woman’s Day

Just like our relationship with our husband, friendship is invaluable. Friends validate what we are feeling and show mirror image of us. They are there to give comfort and confidence when we become uncertain of some decisions. Sure, it would help to share our marital problems with friends, except, these things.

Sexual activities – Friends are there to support marriage and also to support your intimacy with your husband. You may go ahead and talk about sex with your friends but be mindful of your husband’s modesty. Some things like the physical appearance of his private parts should not be discussed with friends or worst, showing a photo of his part. Would you want your husband doing the same? Moreover, being all specific about your sexual acts with your husband is inappropriate. If you have a problem about your sex drive like not reaching orgasm or difficulty being aroused, you can confide these worries to your friend without going into the details of your intimate sex acts. These are the juiciest gossips a friend is itching to whisper to someone else.

Family’s financial status – Wouldn’t it be great to be treated as the queen or as a VIP by your friends just because you and your husband are making more money than them? Wrong. You have been judged because of your wealth which makes your friends social climbers. What about if you’re earning less, would you be treated less favorably? Just so to avoid unfair treatments, keep your bank balance hidden from your friends’ eyes. In the same way, loans and debts must also be kept confidential as this also shows your financial standing and may influence how your friends will regard you and your family.

His secrets – When your husband specifically shares his secret to you, you must protect it even if you are pissed with him. This may be past relationships, childhood troubles, or embarrassing experiences. Do not share to friends what he doesn’t want others to know. Your friends are not as intimate as you are to your husband so they have no business knowing the secret. It is your husband’s prerogative to share or not to share with others.

Constant complaining about your husband – Be careful of what you whine about. Your friends only know your side of the story and, naturally, becomes loyal to you. When your relationship with your husband improves and you forget about his misgivings, your friends will not. Eventually, they will always have a picture of the man you always complained about – deceitful, insensitive, and selfish.

So while it’s alright to ask the opinion of your friends or your bestfriend regarding matters of your marriage, it is best to work it out first with your husband especially the intimate ones. Remember that in marriage, there must be trust and loyalty. Sharing more than what you should may be a betrayal to your other half.

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