Should You Confess You Had or Are Having An Affair?

Infidelity always has a price and somehow you will have to pay it, but to alleviate your guilt, is it worth it confessing you had or are having an affair?

Infidelity is essentially surrounded by mystery and secrecy. Most people who have committed infidelity don´t confess it to anybody and know there is always the risk of being discovered. Nowadays there are so many ways to discover it, there are private detectives who dedicate to that and on the other side, the several communication tools we have such as email, chat, text messages, social networks, etc..not only facilitate communicating with the secret lover, but also make it easier to be discovered unless you are so careful that feel sure you don´t leave a trace.

 Let´s suppose this is your case, and you are free to decide if you want to confess you had or are having an affair.

The fundamental thing is to act in the way that makes you feel better about yourself; this is the only way you will be able to go on with your relationship.

For instance, there are people that feel so bad about themselves, suffer from guilt and remorse and that makes their existence bitter and unbearable. In that case, it is better to confess it to get relief of the load of guilt and to be able to assume the consequences and offer the cheated partner the opportunity of forgiving or not. The fear and pain in such situation is overwhelming, there is an inner struggle between remorse and the fear of losing the other one in case of not being forgiven and the guilt for causing the other one such pain. In that case you should find someone of your absolute trust, a best friend or your therapist, the sole fact of speaking about it will alleviate your load a bit.

If you had an affair, and you are sure you will never repeat that again, you could opt not to reveal it to your partner if you think it will not add anything to your relationship and will avoid your partner from getting hurt. Think if it is worthy hurting your partner and risking the relationship if you are really convinced you won´t do it again. Your partner could understand and forgive you or, on the contrary will ask himself/herself thousands of questions about you that he/she never questioned before, and certainly reconstructing trust will be a very long and hard process, so maybe one affair that is definitely over may not be worth risking your partner if you have real feelings for him/her.  Dealing with your remorse will be the price you will have to pay for that affair.

Of course, if your affair involved not only sexual encounters but feelings, you should seriously question yourself and maybe talk about it with your couple and dig together on the reasons or emotional lacks that led you to seek refuge in someone else.

The truth is, unless you are used to cheating and have no contradictory feelings inside or just don’t love your couple, you will never get through an infidelity without some suffering or loss from your part, assume that and try to find the better way to deal with the situation accordingly to your own emotional load and to how it could affect your partner.

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