The World’s Greatest Relationship Advice – Maybe

photo_2464_20070710Although I’m not certified (that I know of) I am often called by friends and family a ‘relationship expert.’ Usually after someone says this someone else chimes in with the line “She outta be – she’s been in enough of them!” And then the room erupts in laughter.

The truth is – I have been in my fair share of relationships and I’m not embarrassed by that. Since I was a teenager I longed to find my true love, a real connection with a man (or boy at the time) that nothing, not time or distance or the fact we don’t agree on ice cream flavors, can sever. Looking back I admit I was a tad naïve about relationships – I, like countless other human beings, used to believe that love was magical – there was that one special person somewhere out in the world that was created just for you, and when you met them you would instantly know – love at first sight, and you’d live happily ever after.

Twenty-five years later I know the truth: Love isn’t magical, that’s infatuation. Love is smiling through all the little and not-so-little things your spouse or partner do that annoy you. Love is standing in a long line at the deli counter to buy them olive loaf even though the sight of olive loaf makes you want to gag. Love is not bitching at the fact they leave snotty Kleenex all over the house. Oh, and love is throwing all of those snotty Kleenex away since they’re obviously too busy to do it.

Relationships are work, but, provided you’re in the right one, that work is worth it. With that in mind, here is some relationship advice – perhaps the greatest advice you’ll ever read – maybe.

Be Nice to Each Other

Remember how nice you were to each other when you first fell in love? You complimented each other constantly, got each other little gifts for no reason, you just made each other feel so good. Now, six years into it with kids and car payments you’re not so nice any more. You actually use each other as emotional punching bags if you’re honest about it. He had a crappy day and comes home grumpy. You had an annoying day and take it out on him. Stop – breathe – and remember that you’re supposed to be in each other’s corner, not battling it out in the ring.

Try a Little Tenderness

Life is hard, exhausting and frustrating much of the time and your partner is doing the best they can – they really are. When they act out in anger, try a little tenderness. Don’t incite the situation by adding your own angry gasoline to the already raging angry fire. Look underneath the surface to see what is really going on with your spouse or partner. Yes, they’re yelling right now and just broke your favorite coffee cup. Yes, they are slamming doors and letting some rather foul language slip out. But what are they feeling under all of that anger. Chances are it is another emotion like fear, worry or anxiety. Before you fly off the handle back at them – which never ever ever helps the situation, try a little tenderness and understanding.

Have Sex as Often as Possible

There will come a point in the relationship when you’ll realize neither one of you is really in the mood or has the energy these days, and before you know it, a couple of months will have past. Oh sure, you’re shaking your head “No way, not us, Oh my God I can’t imagine it.” Just wait. But it’s important to have sex with one another even if you’re both tired and not really in the mood. Physical intimacy keeps the romance and those good warm feelings alive. So… just DO IT.

There! There is some of the best relationship advice you’ll ever get. You’re welcome.

Photo Source: Freerangestock.com/ Roxana Gonzalez

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